4. They project all the negative feelings onto you!
Have you ever argued with a narcissist who tried to attribute their feelings to you? If the answer is yes, then you probably wonder why they do that. It’s simple: narcissists find it unbearable to believe that they are horrible, responsible for something angry, or difficult. Instead of retreating inside, narcissists constantly project the emotions they are unable to handle onto others.
A narcissist will always say things like “You’re horrible and you ruined my day” just because they want you to feel bad because they feel bad too. Instead of working on themselves to become better people, they make it others’ responsibility to heal them. How toxic!
What can you do? Try to detach yourself from these negative feelings. If you express your sympathy for them and show you’re vulnerable, they will try to manipulate you even more. Unfortunately, narcissists don’t feel the need to change themselves. They will refuse therapy and avoid self-introspection at all costs!
To prevent losing your personality and capacity for independent thought, it’s critical to break all relationships with toxic individuals and stop interacting with them as soon as you can.
Dear M.G.,
Great, helpful article. If your true mission is narcissist awareness, please consider changing one of the two stock images in the article to that of a man gaslighting a woman. It is a stereotype that women are controlling over men and their husbands, but the scenario can also be flipped with the woman being put under narcissistic abuse in a familial or romantic relationship with a male identifying person. Please consider bringing awareness to narcissistic personality disorder being possible in both men and women. Would you consider making the first of the two stock photos in the article the one depicting a male with NPD and a female victim of the abuse to help correct this cultural misconception between gender and NPD. This could help so many women not talk themselves out of identifying a person in their lives with NPD!!
Thank you for sending this email about narcissism. Sadly a close female family member is married to a narcissist. She is so battered that she doesn’t realize how entrenched she is in toxic relationship. She knows she’s unhappy but has no fight left in her. She won’t confide in me anymore because he has poisoned her against me. Again thank you so much for this advice