5. They can “read” your mind!
I suppose you’ve heard this term a lot. And in this case, that is more than 100% true. A pathologic narcissist always “knows” what others have in their minds, and somehow it’s never good. They frequently manipulate the conversation until they can put words in your mouth, and in the majority of situations, these words are toxic and reflect a false reality.
Furthermore, they accuse you of thinking wrongly of them, and somehow this is used as a defense mechanism. Narcissists twist your words to make them look absurd and weird. If you try to bring up the fact that you’re unhappy in the relationship, they will accuse you and ask if you’re ready to complain about it, even if your intention wasn’t a bad one and you only wanted to have an honest conversation about this.
What can you do? Set a boundary! Explain again what your thoughts were, and if they still don’t understand what you’ve been saying, walk away. As long as they are still trying to manipulate the discussion instead of just talking about their feelings, the problem won’t be solved.
Dear M.G.,
Great, helpful article. If your true mission is narcissist awareness, please consider changing one of the two stock images in the article to that of a man gaslighting a woman. It is a stereotype that women are controlling over men and their husbands, but the scenario can also be flipped with the woman being put under narcissistic abuse in a familial or romantic relationship with a male identifying person. Please consider bringing awareness to narcissistic personality disorder being possible in both men and women. Would you consider making the first of the two stock photos in the article the one depicting a male with NPD and a female victim of the abuse to help correct this cultural misconception between gender and NPD. This could help so many women not talk themselves out of identifying a person in their lives with NPD!!
Thank you for sending this email about narcissism. Sadly a close female family member is married to a narcissist. She is so battered that she doesn’t realize how entrenched she is in toxic relationship. She knows she’s unhappy but has no fight left in her. She won’t confide in me anymore because he has poisoned her against me. Again thank you so much for this advice