Be careful with your words!
Words have an immense power that we can use to shape the world around us. If you think about it, words are everywhere. Most of us use them when we are all alone inside our heads, and our whole language is based on them.
We need them in our everyday lives, and they are the main vehicle that transports our messages. But as with everything that can make such a big change in the world, we need to be very careful and responsible. This big power we were talking about can lead to unexpected consequences.
Considering how our subconscious mind works, it is better to be aware of what words you use when you are talking about yourself. You might think this sounds silly, but the way you talk about yourself can shape the person you are. That is the person everyone sees, and after all, this is not what matters at the end of the day.
The following words are overused and share so little about who you really are. This is why it is best to avoid them at all costs!
Expert
What do you think about the people who describe themselves as experts? Or even better, when was the last time you’ve heard someone say about themselves that they are experts? This happens very rarely, and most of the time it is someone who calls those people experts.
Expertise is often admired, but calling yourself an expert can be perceived as boastful or presumptuous by most people. Just imagine how you feel about all the people who use such words to describe themselves. Most of the time the situation feels tricky, and you don’t know how to approach them. This is plain uncomfortable.
Many times, real professionals think that their work is enough to describe the level of expertise they have. This is why they prefer words like “specialist” or “experienced.”
A good place to start if you want to learn more about expertise is Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers: The Story of Success. Here, the author presents the idea that mastery in any field requires at least 10,000 hours of dedicated practice, roughly equating to 20 hours a week for 10 years.
But even if you devoted 10,000 hours to a field, it might still sound very arrogant to call yourself an expert. The better thing to do is to let your work, knowledge, and dedication speak. This will bring you more recognition than using words such as “expert.”
Annoying
Calling yourself annoying is an unhelpful and self-critical way to describe your personality, and you would do so much more for yourself if you stopped using such words to describe yourself.
Take a step back and think about this: If you were that annoying, how come people still stick around to spend time with you? If they had found you irritating, they would have run a long time ago.
Try to see how other people’s actions describe you. How they treat you can say a thing or two about yourself, and you can use this to guide your self-perception. All of us have quirks and habits that can bother others from time to time, but usually, a close friend or a family member will point them out to you so you’ll be aware of them.
Instead of focusing on how annoying you are, you can consider whether you’re bringing positivity and value to your relationships. Are you being supportive, a good listener, or helpful? These qualities are more important than an occasional habit that can annoy others.
Smart
This is a fantastic compliment to receive. When someone describes you as smart, you feel like you can do anything, but when you use it to describe yourself well, this is when words like this can easily backfire.
Proclaiming yourself smart can make you seem arrogant or insecure. Also, psychologist Matthew Buckley points out that, just like beauty, intelligence is subjective, and this means people can interpret words like “smart” in many different ways. Unique skills, problem-solving abilities, and creativity can all make a person smart. It is not just about one trait; it is a collection.
It’s easier to let people recognize your intelligence through your actions, insights, and the quality of your work. Even more, using the word smart to describe yourself in professional settings is very vague and does not say anything about you and your abilities.
“Knowledgeable,” “skilled,” or “competent” are better words you can use, and they are also grounded in experience and expertise. This means it will be so much easier for people to understand what you bring to the table.
Leader
Calling yourself a leader is more common than calling yourself an expert, but here you’ll need evidence to back this statement up, or else there are just empty words. But being a leader means a lot of things. This is not just a buzzword.
Before telling others you are a leader, think a little bit about your personal history. Have you ever been there for the ones around you? Are you the one who takes the lead and helps others grow? What was your reaction when everything was going down? Did you remain on the ship or swim to save yourself?
These questions can help you get a better insight into yourself, and answering them will help you decide if you are a real leader or not. You should always stay away from generic language like “leader,” or at least this is what bestselling biographer Christopher Sandford advises people to do. Using more specific words that tell people more information about you and your accomplishments is so much more important than trying to cover everything by saying you are a leader.
Lazy
It’s very easy to call yourself lazy, but it’s important to be aware that laziness is not a real thing. You are not lazy just because you prefer to watch a Netflix show instead of doing the dishes. Or you are not lazy just because you enjoy a long sleep-in on weekends from time to time. All of these habits only make you human, not lazy.
Most of the time, people are not lazy. They might just go through a rough period, and they can’t keep up with all the things they have to do. This is normal, and it should be more accepted.
Being too judgmental of these behaviors might make it difficult to feel motivated when you are trying to be productive since negative self-talk lowers confidence and motivation. If you ever struggle with a task, you should try to break it down into smaller parts and tackle them separately.
If you want to use the power of words to your advantage you can try this: Intelligent Change Mindful Affirmations, 52 Positive Affirmation Cards
You should also read: Trust Your Gut: 10 Signs Your Partner Might Be Hiding Something
