The Truth About “Toxic Positivity”
In our enthusiasm for optimism, it is crucial to be aware of a common pitfall: toxic positivity. This is the belief that no matter how difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. It’s the “good vibes only” approach that dismisses or denies difficult emotions.
While well-intentioned, this can be incredibly invalidating. When someone is grieving, struggling, or in pain, being told to “just be positive” or “look on the bright side” can feel like a profound dismissal of their experience. It suggests that their negative feelings are wrong or a sign of personal failure. This can also be a form of spiritual bypassing, where spiritual or positive concepts are used to avoid dealing with painful human emotions and unresolved issues.
True, healthy positivity has room for the full spectrum of human emotion. It is about holding space for both difficulty and hope at the same time. It’s the ability to say, “This is incredibly hard right now, and I am sad/angry/scared,” while also holding the belief, “and I trust that I will find a way through this.” It acknowledges the pain without letting it become the entire story.
When you are supporting others, practice empathy instead of forced positivity. Instead of saying, “Don’t be sad,” try, “It’s okay to be sad. I’m here to listen.” And when you are tending to your own feelings, give yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment. Acknowledging a difficult emotion allows it to be processed and move through you. Suppressing it only causes it to fester. A truly positive mindset is honest, compassionate, and resilient enough to handle the truth of a difficult moment.
For guidance on various complementary health approaches, including mindfulness, it can be helpful to consult resources like the NCCIH.
