Navigating with Care: Boundaries and Safety in Your Healing Journey
Any powerful practice for spiritual healing requires thoughtful boundaries to ensure it supports, rather than complicates, our wellbeing. Ho’oponopono is a tool for inner peace, but it is important to understand what it is and what it is not.
Ho’oponopono and Grief
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, this practice can be a gentle comfort. It can help soothe feelings of regret, guilt, or anger that often accompany loss. You can direct the phrases to your memories, to unspoken words, and to the part of you that aches with sorrow. However, it is not a “cure” for grief or a way to bypass the necessary process of mourning. Grief is a natural response to love, and it needs time and space to be felt. Use Ho’oponopono as a companion on your grief journey, not as a way to rush through it. For comprehensive support, you can find valuable grief and coping resources at the American Psychological Association (APA) and the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
Inner Peace vs. Outer Action
Practicing Ho’oponopono is about finding peace within yourself. It does not mean you must stay in harmful situations or accept unacceptable behavior from others. Finding inner forgiveness for someone who has hurt you can free you from the burden of resentment, but it does not require you to trust them or allow them back into your life if it is not safe or healthy to do so. Setting boundaries, speaking your truth, or removing yourself from a toxic environment are all acts of self-love. Internal cleaning can give you the clarity and strength to take these necessary external actions.
Beware of Exploitative Services
Because of its popularity, some individuals or groups may try to commercialize Ho’oponopono in unhelpful ways. Be cautious and look for these red flags:
- Guarantees of External Results: Anyone who promises that this prayer will make someone fall in love with you, bring you a specific amount of money, or cure a disease is misrepresenting the practice. Its purpose is inner peace, not outer manipulation.
- High-Pressure Sales Tactics: True spiritual teaching is offered, not forced. Be wary of expensive, multi-level programs or workshops that create a false sense of urgency.
- Claims of Secret Knowledge: The beauty of modern Ho’oponopono is its simplicity. Anyone claiming you need their “secret” or “advanced” version for it to work is likely more interested in profit than your wellbeing.
Remember, the core practice is free, simple, and available to you at any moment. Books and introductory workshops can be helpful, but be discerning. A good teacher will empower you to do the practice yourself, not create dependency on them.
A Complementary Practice, Not a Replacement
This is a crucial point. Ho’oponopono is a wonderful tool for emotional and spiritual wellbeing, but it is not a substitute for necessary medical or mental health care. If you are struggling with depression, severe anxiety, trauma, or other mental health challenges, please seek support from a licensed professional. You can find resources and get help from organizations like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
You can absolutely use this practice alongside therapy. It can be a powerful way to work with the feelings that arise during your sessions. If you feel comfortable, you could even open a conversation with your therapist.
Sample Conversation Opener: You might say, “I’ve recently started exploring a personal practice for forgiveness called Ho’oponopono. It involves repeating the phrases ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you’ to myself to help calm my mind. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on how this might support the work we are doing together.”
