Do you have relationship troubles? Therapists have shared the signs you should look for!
Everyone in a relationship will be unhappy at some point, even in the best of relationships. If you and your partner are guilty of one or more of these breakup indicators, you should honestly discuss whether you think you can work through your issues or if you’d be better off moving on.
No relationship is perfect, but avoiding an unhealthy and unhappy situation is sometimes in both partners’ best interests.
So let’s not waste any more time. If you might be having relationship troubles, check out these 7 tell-tale signs experts warn you should be looking for!
You only feel loved and supported when you’re happy
We all feel loved and supported in our relationships when we feel confident, happy, and comfortable. But what happens when we’re having a “bad” day, when we’re bedridden with the flu, when we’re over-stressed at work, or when we’re in the grasp of anxiety?
What happens when we get laid off at work, lose someone we love, or get a diagnosis that turns our whole world upside down? When we feel pressured to preserve a certain emotional equilibrium around our significant others, we breed secondary emotions like shame, guilt, and anxiety for experiencing anything other than calm and happiness.
The reality is that life will throw more things than just butterflies and rainbows your way. So it’s crucial to feel safe feeling those less than comfortable emotions in the presence of your loved one. If you don’t, this could be a tell-tale sign of relationship troubles.
You only feel secure in the relationship when you’re physically together
You should feel secure when you’re together. But also when you’re apart when your spouse is out drinking without you, or in any other scenario.
Suppose you feel abandoned or unsure when you’re not together or communicating digitally. In that case, that’s a sign that you may have relationship troubles, and the union isn’t as healthy or supportive as it should be.
I should mention that insecurity in the spaces between calling, texting, and being together could also indicate insecure attachment, which is something that’s best explored a bit more with a therapist. It’s not your partner’s duty to heal those wounds, at least not entirely.
If this sounds like it might be a problem for you, you should learn more about your attachment style and speak with a mental health professional who can help you work through this. Those of us who developed “attachment issues” somewhere along the way in our lives tend to seek out relationships that mirror those earlier attachment relationships.
And so, we might maintain a less-than-great relationship with our significant other because it’s what we understand and not because it’s what’s healthy. The right partner for you will be supporting you as you work through your issues, making you feel guilty about them.
You feel negative around your partner all the time
You regularly feel underappreciated, disrespected, frustrated, invalidated, hurt, insignificant, lonely, ashamed, or guilty. And you rarely hear the words, “I’m sorry.” Sure, “regular basis” is a time frame for you to specify.
Some folks would say that it’s never OK to be made to feel like this in a relationship, but we’re all humans and say unsupportive or hurtful things occasionally.
If your partner messes up sometimes and responds with remorse, that may not be a reason to call it quits. But, it’s definitely a sign of relationship troubles if you’re ALWAYS feeling like this.
You’re a different person around your partner
Many people discover that their “better half” makes them “a better person.” This shouldn’t be a red flag, though. Learning from and being inspired by our significant others is one of the fantastic perks of being in a relationship.
But, think about it: many of us have that friend or are that person who acts totally differently when they’re around their mate. We may seem more easygoing, enthusiastic, or pretentious.
If you feel like you’re playing a role, responding and behaving based on how you think you should rather than authentically, you may want to reassess what’s going on.
If you can’t be authentically yourself around your loved one, have flaws and bad moods, and all that comes with that, this could be an indicator of relationship troubles and it might not be the right connection for you.
… Are you starting to see signs of relationship troubles by reading this article?
Getting your partner to spend time with your family and friends is oddly difficult
Do you dread telling your spouse about your best friend’s dinner invitation? Does attending your sister’s birthday party require hours of negotiations? Do your co-workers sometimes question whether your partner even exists?
By asking your other half to hang out with your family or friends, do you feel like you’re asking them to hand over all their prized possessions and move to the North Pole?
Your better half doesn’t have to love every one of your friends or every member of your family, but it’s a tell-tale sign of relationship troubles if they’re not willing to embark on significant other duties without too much protest. You, of course, would obviously do the same, right?
You feel unreasonable or needy every time you express what you need
When you communicate a need, you can’t help but feel crazy, dramatic, high-maintenance, needy, or unreasonable. Most of the time, you even end up apologizing for it. Now listen, we all have our “wild” moments and should respect that our partners have theirs.
We’re all flawed. Some emotions like insecurity, jealousy, anger, and other behaviors can trigger overblown reactions or intensely defensive behavior.
But if you’ve lost the ability to catch that your needs are valid and deserve airtime, that’s a massive red flag of relationship troubles. You deserve to be able to ask for things or express how you feel without being made to feel like you’re “crazy.” Your self-esteem will ultimately suffer the most from this situation.
Side Note: Making you feel like you’re being “crazy” or overly sensitive is a classic gaslighting tactic, by the way.
Your partner is abusive or toxic
You should never cling to an abusive relationship. Most people don’t recognize that their relationship is emotionally abusive or toxic. Still, it likely is if your mate frequently makes you feel bad about yourself, experiences fits of jealousy and rage, or tries to control every part of your life.
Far more recognizable are instances of physical abuse, in which case you should get help and leave immediately. Don’t wait for weeks, then months, if not years, of therapy that might not even work for your partner. The truth is that abusers tend to re-offend.
Talk to a family member, friend, or licensed professional about your concerns, and make a plan for ending your relationship as quickly and safely as possible. The National Domestic Abuse Violence Hotline can help via phone, or you can use their live chat.
You should never feel entrapped in an unfulfilling or unhappy relationship. Always pay attention to subtle and not-so-subtle signs of relationship troubles.
Do you see any of these relationship trouble signs at home? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.
And if you found this article helpful, you might also like: 12 Hidden Jerk Behaviors You Should Watch For
