Love is a wild ride, isn’t it? We know it as a thing that happens to flip your world upside down, set your heart on fire, and leave you wondering if it’s not the secret of life itself.
However, we only use one word for this whirlwind of emotions, but there are many types of love, and the ancient Greeks were a bit more precise and probably a lot wiser, so they broke it down into eight types of love, each with its own purpose and flavor.
Whether you’re chasing butterflies in your stomach, a rock-solid friendship, or self-love, there’s a Greek word for exactly what you’re feeling.
Ready to see which kinds of love are lighting up your life right now? Let’s go!
1. Eros—Passion and Desire
Named after the Greek god of love and fertility, this is the kind of love that sets sparks. It’s all about passion, sexual attraction, and the magnetic pull you feel when you’re totally captivated by someone.
Eros could be dangerous to the ancient Greeks, as they saw it as a wildfire hard to control. It’s, indeed, the kind of love that makes your heart race, that makes your thoughts spiral, and once with it, it takes your ration away.
At its best, Eros is a beautiful force, and Socrates believed that this kind of love can help us see beauty in ourselves and others when used with wisdom; it could serve as a spiritual awakening.
The catch is, that when left unchecked, Eros becomes impulsive, selfish, and destructive. It thrives on intensity, and it can burn out quickly without a connection to sustain it. The spark that lights the fire needs something more substantial to keep the flame alive.
Catalyst: The physical body
Eros teaches us all about the power of attraction while it challenges us to channel that energy into something benefic.
What would you do with your Eros energy?
2. Philia—Friendship and Loyalty
Unlike the fiery and passionate Eros, Philia is a calm and steady counterpart. This is the love we share with friends, based on trust, loyalty, and respect. The Greeks valued Philia more than Eros because it is an equal love, free from chaos and romantic intensity.
Philia doesn’t need physical attraction to thrive. We use the term “platonic love for it.”. Thanks to Plato, who believed in connection without physical intimacy.
Philia grows through shared experiences, hard times, and showing up when it matters most. It’s about having each other’s back and being willing to sacrifice for the ones you care about the most.
In our culture, you can think about deep friendships that you might have seen in movies such as The Girl with a Pearl Earring or a camaraderie you can notice in The Girl Next Door. As they are not love stories, these are unbreakable bonds of connection.
Catalyst: The mind
Philia is the love reminding us we’re not alone. Do you feel like your friends are like your chosen family in your life?
Find nice gifts for your friends here and remind them how special they are for you.
3. Storge—Family and Familiarity
Here we talk about the warm and comforting love that comes from deep kinship and familiarity. It’s about the love between parents and children, the love for family members, and the love for the love for people who’ve been by your side from the very beginning. This love is often taken for granted because it has always been there.
Unlike Philia, which grows from shared experiences with friends, Storge comes from a natural connection, the one that doesn’t require effort to spark, and it comes from knowing someone so deeply that their presence feels like home.
However, it’s believed that Storge can sometimes hold us back. When family and our close friends don’t align with our path of personal and spiritual growth, it can become challenging to live with their influence around you. This is a reminder that even the most natural types of love need balance and boundaries to thrive.
4. Ludus—Playfulness and Flirting
This is the kind of love that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a lot of laughter. Playful, light, and fun, the Greeks think this is the spark of affection that appears between young lovers. You can see it as Eros’ mischievous sibling, talking about blending romance with a touch of innocence.
It’s the giddy feeling people get in the early stages of falling in love, with teasing glances, playful flirting, or the uncontrollable grin after the perfect date. Ludus is about the thrill of connection; you can call it the euphoria that makes you feel alive and invincible.
More than the “honeymoon phase,” playfulness is actually a secret ingredient that keeps love fresh and exciting when it comes to long-term relationships. If you allow Ludus to flourish, it will bring out your childlike innocence and help love stay vibrant over time. Ludus is here to remind us that love is not always serious, and it can be an adventure, it can be a game, or whatever reminds you to embrace joy.
Ready for the next type of love?
5. Mania—posession and dependency
Thought about the type of love that feels like all or nothing? Mania is a consuming, obsessive force taking over your thoughts and emotions. It’s overwhelming, intense, and often rooted in imbalance. It can be the imbalance between Eros and Ludus.
People experience mania as a way to fill a void or heal feelings of low self-worth. This is not only about wanting to be loved but also about needing to feel valuable and whole. There is a desperation that can lead to jealousy, possessiveness, and a constant fear of losing the relationship.
Mania creates a toxic dynamic where one partner feels an obsessive need for love and the other can’t reciprocate it in the same way. It leads to emotional turbulence and even codependency.
It feels like you can’t live without your partner. It looks like you’re constantly seeking proof of their love. Mania comes with experiencing insecurity and jealousy in the relationship. It comes from a natural survival instinct, which is the need to feel connected. It comes as a reminder that healthy love requires self-awareness and balance. Love shouldn’t feel like a lifeline.
Catalyst: Survival instinct
6. Pragma – The love that lasts
Pragma is the love that passes the test of time. More than the wild passion or a flirt, it’s the deep and steady love that grows over the years. It’s about long-term commitment, trust, respect, and shared history.
You see Pragma in couples that have been together for years, navigating all the ups and downs together. It’s also pragmatic in lifelong friendships that only grow stronger through challenges.
The thing about this type of love is that it doesn’t just happen; it takes effort. It requires patience, compromise, and the willingness to grow together.
Think about Pragma as the slow-burning flame that never goes out, as it’s the result of two people choosing each other again and again, through the good and bad.
Catalyst: Unconscious bond
Who in your life represents the steady love of Pragma?
7. Philautia—the love for yourself
This is the art of loving yourself. Philautia is not the vain, narcissistic self-love but the one coming from compassion and kindness. The ancient Greeks understood that the way you care for others is connected to the way you care for yourself.
How can you pour into others if your cup is empty?
You can see it as aligned with the Buddhist idea of self-compassion, and it’s all about accepting who you are with flaws, quirks, and all. Moreover, it’s about feeling comfortable in your own skin.
Philautia helps you build emotional resilience and confidence. While it’s not about self-obsession and seeking fame, it is about knowing your worth and embracing your full self. Cultivating this kind of love helps you create a foundation of deep and authentic connections with others.
Catalyst: The soul
See Philautia as a reminder that you are your greatest love story. When you truly love yourself, it radiates outward, and it even becomes easier to connect with others.
What’s one thing you can do today to show yourself some love?
8. Agape—the love that transcends
The purest form of love is selfless, unconditional love extending far beyond ourselves, and this is known as agape. Greeks considered it the ultimate form of love, free from expectations and conditions, with no need for something in return.
Agape feels like divine love in many ways. It can be what Buddhists call metta or universal loving-kindness, reflecting the deep truth we know about the world: the essence of our being and what connects us all. Agape looks like being kind to strangers without expecting anything in return, loving someone when it’s difficult, or acting in the best interest of others as it’s the right thing to do.
Catalyst: The spirit
Agape is a transformative love, able to change the world with one act of selflessness at a time. How can you bring more agape into your life today?
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